Secrets in the Seams

Secrets in the Seams was made possible by the Smax Duo. I can’t thank Clay Steiner and Valeri Nowak enough for leading the consortium and for giving a marvelous premiere. Clay and Val gave me complete freedom in terms of the narrative meaning of the piece. I don’t believe that program or narrative in music is “extra-musical” thus it is crucially important that my program notes be considered part of the work, rather than a postmortem ad on. Secrets in the Seams elaborates on an earlier work Occasional Truths in that it is about the hidden aspects of ones’ life, sewn amongst the fabric of their persona and character. In particular, it is about my struggles as a sober person, and the lack of empathy given towards addicts, whether sober or in active addiction. Overcoming my addiction was and continues to be monumental in my progress as a person and composer. Often, I have to hide this very large and integral part of my persona due to the stigmas surrounding those with substance abuse disorders. Secrets in the Seams unveils the self, revealing the strife so that it may be accepted, to celebrate the difference, rather than to otherize it. It is my hope that performers and audiences alike will take this into account in understanding the piece, formally and sonically, and that it can be used as a device for compassion and empathy.